


Merryaxes

by theelusiveflamingo



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Crack, Dragons, Gen, Getting Turned On By Dragons, House Targaryen, Meraxes, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theelusiveflamingo/pseuds/theelusiveflamingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What’s that?” Dany asked. </p><p>“My present for myself,” Viserys said, pulling his hair back into a ponytail and beginning to shred the box open with his keys.  “I couldn’t trust anyone to understand my taste, so I just got myself a dragon.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merryaxes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crossingwinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossingwinter/gifts).



> This is utter crack, though more fic in this universe will be coming in the future. Be warned...

When all was said and done, Dany hated Christmas.  They spent it at the Targaryen family home, Dragonstone, each year, even though as far as she knew the only Targaryens left alive were Viserys and herself.  Barristan Selmy, their family’s lawyer, would stop by to deliver them checks from the Targaryen family trust.  Occasionally he’d take them out to a nice place where waiters in tuxedos would carve ham directly onto their plates and dish out all-you-can-eat whipped cream for the endless desserts, but this got way more awkward by the year as Viserys stopped putting on a suit and tie and insisted on wearing a bright red cape with his all-black outfit to dinner.  Also, Dany felt bad for everyone who had to work serving them on Christmas Eve.  Viserys pointed out that they were probably getting time and a half at least, with a silent  _it’s not worth your time worrying about the waiters_ implied.  But Dany still felt guilty.  If she had a bigger, better family to spend Christmas with, she’d much prefer that to money.

So this all meant that Christmas Day was sad and cold and lonely, with not much to receive and not much to give.  This year, there were three presents for her under the tree.  Doreah had knitted her a purple scarf with matching mittens.  Drogo and Daario had both given her jewelry—Drogo’s gift was a gold ring on a chain and a card with a short, simple message, while Daario had given her beaded dragon earrings and written her a poem that had at least four euphemisms for the vagina.  Viserys seethed, and Dany felt bad that the fountain pen she’d given him was his only present.  He’d use the fountain pen; he  _was_ really good at calligraphy, and he loved signing his name on everything, but still.  It was one present to her three, and Viserys was the kind of guy who kept track of these things.

Until he pulled a box almost as tall as he was out of the front closet.

“What’s  _that_?” Dany asked.  She half-wondered if it was a playhouse, like the kind Mr. Darry always said he was going to get her for Christmas back before his heart attack.

“My present for myself,” Viserys said, pulling his hair back into a ponytail and beginning to shred the box open with his keys.  “I couldn’t trust anyone to understand my taste, so I just got myself a dragon.”

“A  _what?_ ”  The old Targaryen crest did have a dragon on it, but Viserys had been  _really_ into dragons for a very long time, and it seemed like it was getting worse.

“A dragon, look.”  The cardboard fell away.  Inside the box was a sculpture of a dragon rearing up on its hind legs, its pointy wings spread.  It was even painted realistically—or at least, as realistically as Dany could imagine, having never seen a dragon herself.

“Um, wow,” Dany said.  “That’s…impressive?”

“I had her handmade—” ( _Her???_ ) “just the way I wanted.  She came here all the way from Germany.  The shipping was almost as much as it cost to make her!”  He stroked the dragon’s wing like he was petting a dog.  “Hello, Meraxes.”

“Where’d you get that name from?” Dany asked.  “Is it from a movie?”

“I dreamed it,” Viserys sighed.

“You, um, dreamed about your Christmas present?”

“Oh,  _yes_ ,” Viserys said.  He ran his hand up the dragon’s flank.  “Her scales feel so real.”

Dany pulled her phone out of her pocket.  Thank God for excuses.  “Viserys, I’m going to just call people and thank them for my presents…okay?”

Viserys seemed like he was in another world.  He nodded once, not even looking at her.

Dany wandered into the musty library and called first Doreah, then Drogo, and finally Daario, because he was by far the hardest to get off the phone.  After the third time he mentioned he had imagined what she’d look like in the dragon earrings and  _just_ the dragon earrings, she told him Viserys was calling her and hung up.  Daario could get a little boring at times.  Plus, she wanted to ask Viserys to join her on a walk.  The scent of the old, dusty mansion always got a little overwhelming every Christmas.

She stopped short in the living room doorway, every inch of her body suddenly frozen to the spot.

Her brother was standing on his tiptoes, one hand rubbing up and down the dragon’s— _Meraxes’_ —stomach, the other thrown about her neck.  His lips looked like they were—no he definitely was— _nuzzling_ her face and jaw and big, pointed teeth.

This was surprising, even more shocking than that time Dany had walked in on Viserys masturbating to what looked suspiciously like a family photo album…

Dany managed to turn around and bolt for the back door.  She’d just go on the walk herself.   Viserys looked like he was having a very merry _axes_ Christmas, and it was probably safer to just leave him alone for a while…


End file.
